This month I attempted the infamous Master Cleanse, and I do mean infamous in it’s true definition. (For those unaware of the actual definition and interchange it with famous, it means “well known for some bad quality or deed”.) I say this because the Master Cleanse is one of the most controversial diets, doctors discourage it while celebrities endorse it. Starving your body from necessities to lose a quick 20 lbs seems rather appealing and straightforward. 6 cups of lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper and water coupled with daily enemas. (By the way, it’s a great diet for your wallet too.) However, this was one of the hardest things I have done.
I first heard about the Master Cleanse from some friends who tried it previously with success. I have put on a few extra pounds this past year when I broke my workout regimen and became intrigued by this “quick fix”. To my dismay I was unsuccessful in carrying it out. I tried starting it a few different times but ended up breaking it for different reasons. If you have read my post “2017 Walk to End Epilepsy” you know that I suffer from the seizure disorder. I did some research prior and discovered a forum of people with my condition who tried the cleanse and experienced no issues. Unfortunately, on two of my attempts I had a few petite seizures. No matter what you are doing you always need to listen to your body. On another attempt, I suffered from massive headaches. The last two attempts I just caved into the hunger.
What I learned about this experience was the dependency our body has on food. Obviously food is important but it has became such a part of pop culture. During the times I was fasting I noticed all of the food specific ads on YouTube videos, Instagram, TV commercials, radio commercials, billboards, etc. Maybe it’s because I was craving food so much that I started to pay attention to it’s many references. Also, it’s crazy how much people eat on reality tv shows. Try watching “Keeping up with the Kardashians” without seeing them eat a salad. Food is important to our health, but instead of being a necessity it is glorified into desire.
I also learned that moderation is key. I never eat excessive amounts of food but I did realize I overeat for my body. I reflected on serving portions (I don’t know why) and realized that we all get served the same amount. Let’s say you and I go out to eat and we both order the same dish. I’m 5″10 and you’re taller/shorter than me. We are both going to get served the same amount of food. I’m not a scientist so I don’t know how the body works, but I’m pretty sure the body doesn’t instantly tell you when you’re full, if it does then mine is broken. It usually isn’t until after I eat that I realize I’m full. Let’s say that happens with you as well. Again, I’m not a scientist, but if we are different heights then we should be eating different portions of food as our BMI’s are based on our height. I think that’s a large contributing factor to obesity as a whole. Now I’m not blaming the food industry for me being overweight, I know it’s because I’m lazy af and haven’t working out in months, but let me have a moment and at least pass off some blame :P.
I did some follow-up research and learned that a lot of people gain back the weight they lost on the Master Cleanse because it is just a quick fix and people don’t make permanent lifestyle changes to keep it off. The only real way I’m going to lose the weight I need to is by getting my butt back into a dedicated workout routine in a gym. Unfortunately I am not one of those people who can watch pilates videos in my living room because I’ll end up grabbing some popcorn and turning on Netflix.
Would I recommend this to anyone? Let’s just say I won’t be trying to this again, but if someone invents a weight loss pill I’ll be like one of the Supreme freaks who wait outside in line overnight. Until that day comes you can find me in my gym but after the holidays.